o.o
Hope... Virtue... Solitude... Devotion... Sorrow... Love...
haha, long time since i blogged, sorry! >.<
anyway the past few days i've been out with my frens, looking for job, this time with cek kwang following us oso
monday
meet up with cia, an an, yos, hans and dhs to go jalan ard in orchard area, this time specially with ah cek =X hehe we went walking walking walking, stop here and there asking for job, slacked at a small corner with newspaper looking for jobs, found a few, quite attractive de, thou some of it i cant do due to my body condition, finally went to sim lim square to buy my DVD burner, after tt we went to bugis library to slack and play with the lift again XD, by this time, cek and an an had left already, leaving dhs, hans, yos cia and me, in the lib, dhs and the rest went to watch charlie chaplin, for me i went to stone at a corner, pondering things over and over again... >.< i've made myself worried again, din get a very good nite slp...
tuesday
hm... went to standard cahter building to look for job with cia and dhs, signed up at recruit express, offered quite alot of gd jobs, thou not very sure if they will call me and cia anot, after we walked abit... we went to eat at food junction at the basement of funan IT mall, something interesting happened, thou i cant really put out in words as it is more funny seeing in real, after the lunch, cia dhs and me went back to club room to clean up abit, after awhile hans come along and meet us.
when we are done cleaning up alittle bit, cia went away and dhs and hans came to my hse, to help me install my DVD burner, after installing... we went to bedok to accomp hans collect a deposit from a customer, and we went to eat KFC, hehe, my dinner, ate quite alot... a burger and one cup of drink... full like hell... on the way home.. i stoned again.. and found myself worrying about various things again...
wednesday (today)
heh, went to dye my hair today, very nice ashy brown-gold color hehe, met up with dhs actually, he oso went to cut his hair, by a aunty which he is quite close with, waha after cutting his hair and dying my hair, we went for lunch, the duck rice at the hair salon area, very nice! MUAHA
meet up with hans and cia at cia's hse, me got blurred and bring dhs go wrong direction, detoured one big round b4 we reach cia's hse, haha... sorry leh dhs >.< anyway we played ard in cia hse awhile, meet mummy and jiejie... jiejie's dog damn bloody cute, the moment i step into her hse, her dog (milo) come running at me, jumping up and down, licking me, hehe, i juz love animals, very hyper active dog
after playing with milo, me cia dhs and hans go to chong pang hawker to eat, cia's ah gong bday celebration, she went to eat with her family while dhs hans and me eat in another corner
after dhs and me finished, cia came over and hans is still eating, chat abit... cracked some jokes, den went back home, well... on the way home... i stoned again, think about alot of things...
thoughts
i realise something, now tt i stone... i still think of alot of things, but no longer paranoid like b4, but one thing really make me worried like mad is... my grandmother... she is very old already... and now she landed in hospital repeatedly... heard from my mother saying tt her internal organs are dysfunctioning... i am really worried... haiz...
anyway... had a really bad nightmare yest nite... dreamt tt my worse nightmare came true... my family died in a car crash... my relative refusing to accept me.. thinking that i will be a burden... i had thou tt i am better off dying in the car crash with my family... felt a deep urge in me to cry... yet i cant cry becos i dun want those ard me to worry... my results all flunk like nv b4... den suddenly... my frens all back away from me now tt i not longer have any 'use' laughing at me saying tt i am naive thinking tt they are my 'frens'...
its a nightmare tt practically compress all my worse nightmare into one... woke up with a terrible headache this morning... almost cant differentiate between reality and dreams this morning... haiz... i finally stopped thinking... den this stupid nightmare come along...
The tears dropped on
Wednesday, October 05, 2005...
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