thoughts
Hope... Virtue... Solitude... Devotion... Sorrow... Love...
hm... had some serious thots over these few days, i had doubts of my own judgement in my frens... my good frens, frens which i really really care about, i had thots like "wad if they are juz putting on a mask infront of me? wad if they were like my pri/sec sch 'frens'? wun i be making a fool of myself? ok even if they are not putting on any mask, wad if one day i were to lose them?" i had already lost a good fren 6 six years ago, i dun wanna see history repeat in anyway, den i thot of sth yos said to me, he said tt the future and past aint as important as the present, becos the past is already gone, the future has yet to come, wad is here is the present, i took his advice seriously and is now feeling so much better, they ARE my frens, frens which i care so much for, even if i were to lose them oneday, at lest i noe i am treasuring them presently
den, i worry for the future too... worry bout my life, bout my frens(again), my family, can i still bring my frens laughter like i can now? will we drift apart? can they still trust me wif their secret? confide me with their trouble? and my family... will i be able to meet up with their expectation? will i be able to make my parents happy for the rest of their life? can i bring comfort to my family?
u see... i think of so much... whnever u see me stone... i will most prob be thinking of all these stuff, i worry alot, i worry bout wad i juz said, i worry bout my parents health i worry bout my fren's relationship NOT only with me, but oso my frens' relationship with each other, say tt i am fake, say tt i am hypocrite or wadever u want, but when i see my frens fight with each oher, i will always feel down, several occassion already happened.
i worry bout so many other things, i dun have much more space to worry for myself, my condition =X i am not a saint or wadever... infact i am selfish, i worry for so many things, why? cos i want things and people ard me to be happy, i dun want to have sad memories, i want only happy memories
after so much tots.. i think of wad yos said again, and form theis few sentence myself
worry for future is good, however over worrying for future will end up neglecting ur present and results in having no past, someone without a past is as good as having nth... at the same time holding on to the past can be good, however over persistent will cause u to forget about ur present, which will ultimately ruin ur future
my own word of advice? hold on to ur past firmly but not tightly, treasure ur present and think of ur future, not worry bout it.
will i still worry? yes i will, but only worry for my present, treasuring it, i wun hold tt tight to my past and obsess bout my future anymore =D life is beautiful, live it!
as for the part regarding my good frens? haha, i trust them, thats all i nid to noe, and thats all i got to say
The tears dropped on
Friday, September 30, 2005...
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from sunday till now
Hope... Virtue... Solitude... Devotion... Sorrow... Love...
Sunday 25th sept
went to cut my hair, very nice, thou i find my back still quite long, anyway, the side and top is shorter and the front is thinner. went to cut my hair with dhs and hans at bedok, dhs's fren, after cutting hair we went to IKEA jalan awhile, chatted and looked at alot of things lah, waha, quite a relaxing day
Monday 26th sept
tt day went with cia hans and dhs to east coast to cycle, at first met up with hans at parkway parade, we went window shopping for a while and cia followed up, we had our lunch (mine of which all end up in the toilet bowl...) and after which we went window shopping in watsons, cia wanna look for a scar remover as her feet are covered in constellations presented to her by pervertic sandflies at desaru and blood thirsty mosquitoes at punggol =X after we found some products which at the very lest cost $35 cia gave up and dhs came along.
we walked abit of distance to east coast and rented our bikes... wow... been like.. 2 years since i last rode a bike? haha anyway, it was a gd feeling, but somehow i end up stoning again... and run into a car... XD well nth serious happened to me thou, my knee sprained abit but it recovered quite fast, we rode from one end of the east coast to another, was tiring and 'lemony' (especially my butt) but all in all it is very fun, took some photos too =D
after the ride we went to a hawker center.. and met a mad dog.. dun wanna tok bout it, not worth spending my time typing out wad rubbish happened. after the dinner, we walked about for a while, and finally home sweet home~
Tuesday(Today) 27th sept
went to sch pretty early in the morning, purpose? to avoid the renovation noise my neighbour is making and to meet david for a SEG club event... quite a ridiculous event if u ask me... went there clapped for 15 mins and dismiss... >.< but in the end still quite glad it ended so early since i am really rather tired.
on the way to MRT dav and i toked about quite some stuff, bout our future and others... den reached hm... and start slacking, stoning...
The tears dropped on
Tuesday, September 27, 2005...
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KTV
Hope... Virtue... Solitude... Devotion... Sorrow... Love...
waha today went to kbox with my bunch of buddies; cia, an, my, yh, dhs and hans, today is celebration for yh and an's bday! WOOT!
i was late for meeting them, we are suppose to meet at 5 at city hall MRT station, however i reached there only at 6, really sorry guys, anyway, we went to marina square kbox to sing, the starting was quite ok... everyone was juz warming up, den comes JJ's song, waha, i got pretty excited and sang every single song they selected from JJ's list
sing sing sing~ den dhs, hans and yh discover sth.. sth which me and my and an had discovered long long time ago... cia is a super high pitch voice singer, muaha, yea, she is really good with high pitch songs, pei fu pei fu
while singing, i oso discovered that everyone are pretty good with their voice, BUT... either sing too soft (an) or forget lyrics (yh) or too cartoon (dhs) or too shy (hans) or dunno how to control voice (ME) or too high cannot sing low (cia) OR too humble (my)
waha tts juz my point of view lah, if anything wrong feel free to gif me more "$5" waha, anyway... i seriously dunno how to control my voice de... i sing until after the ktv... my voice turned soo sexy.. i think i made dhs horny, waha, juz kidding
kk i gtg liao, waha, fun day, once again...
The tears dropped on
Sunday, September 25, 2005...
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benson and me
Hope... Virtue... Solitude... Devotion... Sorrow... Love...
hm... been vomit non stop for few wks ler... nowadays getting weaker day by day... i really have to take care of myself, anyway... benson landed in hospital, he was actually there for appendix operation, but discharge liao, get hm... less den five days went back hospital again, today i went to visit him to see wad happened, it seems that he is under the same conditon as me, a serious case of gastric flu, causing us to vomit non stop after we eat...
haiz... being sick is really hard... i may not be as bad as benson, but i am in an examination period, juz becos of my illness, my IPTN is gone case, now i bia DBMS but bia halfway thru i end up in the toilet vomitting again... hai... thou gd frens have been urging me to go see specialist liao, but i nv go... cos i really suspect is pressure of sch work, and i will definitely be better during the holiday after a gd long rest loh... but seeing the pain benson is in... i really scared that sth is wrong with me and i will add on as a burden to my family, so i've decided lah... after exam for few days, if my condition haven get better, i WILL go to specialist for a check up and see wads wrong and get it fixed
eh gotta go study now, stop here ler
The tears dropped on
Sunday, September 18, 2005...
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IPTN
Hope... Virtue... Solitude... Devotion... Sorrow... Love...
today IPTN exam... no comment...
haiz...
forget it...
start studying for DBMS now...
The tears dropped on
Thursday, September 15, 2005...
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wahaha
Hope... Virtue... Solitude... Devotion... Sorrow... Love...
wooo long time nv blog ler, been too tired, stressed and bz, been working on OOAD project
had been quite eventful for the past few wks lah, cannot everything blog out, my memory not that gd, mostly is going out with nastro frens, comex... library trips... jurong trips... etc... really love going out with nastro frens, haha
but this few wks oso had been a very tedious wk lah... projects manage to squeeze thru ler, had been sick for bout one month liao, been vomitting non stop, now reach a impossible weight of 67kg, sometimes high fever can oso hit me out of no whr, haiz... luckily i have frens there for me, else i dunno how to get thru this alone, den cavin oso very sick, tio dengue fever, wx very worried, cried somemore, but now he getting better ler, haha, things seems to be clearing up lah... many bad things are going away towards the end of this sem, but still got exams to worry bout... now i seriously have to take care of my health ler, no more unhealthy food, and medication have to take properly ler... eh... study time >.<
The tears dropped on
Saturday, September 10, 2005...
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